Everyone is drawn to “how to” self-help books because they desire shortcuts to happiness. However, it is vital to comprehend what stands in the way of wholeness. Perhaps the most difficult obstacle is shame. We have mental tapes that play when we are vulnerable or think about being vulnerable, discouraging us from exploiting our talents of imperfection (i.e., courage, compassion, and connection). These voices convince us that we are insufficient, and that we have plenty of reasons to reject ourselves. They make statements like:
What would people think if they discovered this about me?
People would lose respect for me if they realized what I was truly like and what I’d done.
I’m willing to adjust to others if it means being welcomed.
I am not skilled (or popular, cool, competent, compassionate, manly, or feminine) enough to accept myself.
Who am I to put my work or thoughts out there for everyone to see?
Shame is the dread of being unlovable, which is the polar opposite of owning one’s narrative and feeling self-worth. To develop the fortitude to deal with shame, it’s necessary to understand that everyone feels shame, and almost everyone is frightened to talk about it. The more we postpone discussing it, the more terrible and devastating the phantom of shame becomes.
We’re drowning in it as a culture. According to research, persons who effectively cope with shame comprehend it and are aware of the specific expectations that contribute to shame. They may hold such statements and expectations up to reality and recognize them for what they are: efforts to connect their flaws with inferiority. They are willing to relate their story with trustworthy persons while using shameful language. They are able to express their wants and sentiments.
My Happy Ohm 