All of us like to believe that we are always doing the best that we can. And in ways, that is true. However, it can be surprisingly common that we begin to go easy on ourselves and cut ourselves slack that we might not necessarily give to other people. When we are overwhelmed or tired, it is easy for us to say that we simply are not capable of doing the things that bring us joy or that get us closer to achieving our goals. Our obligations and responsibilities toward our societal roles and family roles may seem like all we have time for.
There may even be times when we are down on ourselves about what we can reasonably expect to accomplish. We might not believe in ourselves or our abilities, and because of that we squander precious hours not doing the things we need to do in order to achieve our goals. Part of this might be a lack of self-confidence, which can be addressed using the tools in this book. However, some of this tendency may actually be due to the fact that we are afraid of being successful. So afraid, that we might actually do things that will cause us to get in our own ways.
This might seem absurd, but have you ever felt a surge of fear when you were recognized for something you did well, or realized that you were good at something? It’s like the moniker that with great power comes great responsibility.
The truth is that we are aware that when we perform well at something, it puts pressure on us to continue to succeed, and other people begin to expect a certain level of performance from us. Whether our conscious mind can perceive it or not, it’s scary to be successful.
However, we have to be willing to face those fears head on and stop trying to convince ourselves that we are not capable of achieving our dreams. Sure, maybe it is easier not to attempt it because then we can live our lives without being faced with a long road of trial and error and responsibility. It can be so much easier to give away our power in a whirlwind of self-doubt. We make excuses not to succeed. We find reasons why it just isn’t possible to work toward our true passions. We allow those excuses to dictate our lives and convince us that we will never be good enough.
All of those things are dangerous. Especially when the truth is that each and every one of us has a higher potential that we can aspire to; a higher potential that deserves to be explored and nurtured, not shut down by the excuses we make to ourselves so that we don’t have to deal with the responsibilities of success.
If you are tired of getting in your own way, or of compromising for other people rather than steaming forward and focusing on your own passions and goals, then it is important for you to come up with a plan of action. What are you going to do to stop yourself from making excuses that allow you to fail without taking any personal responsibility for it? What are you going to do to stop compromising your vision for the expectations of others?
Here are a few ideas. First of all, begin to really examine yourself and your thoughts. Learn to recognize when you are cutting yourself too much slack and letting yourself off the hook. The only way to truly become a master of your own destiny is to allow yourself to take responsibility for your future. If you fail, you have only yourself to blame. And that sort of blame really doesn’t feel good. When you look back on your life and find that you constantly made excuses not to achieve the things you truly care about, you will see that there were choices that you could have made to better your situation. You didn’t have to put others first at all times. You could have made time for yourself. Instead of living a long life of regrets and living with a lack of fulfillment, take responsibility for yourself in the here and now. Practice mindfulness techniques that will provide you with a realistic interpretation of the events going on in your life. Take responsibility for every minute in your day and decide what is truly worth spending those extra moments on.
Sure, you have responsibilities and obligations, whether to your job or to your family, and those can be important. But you are important too. And it is extra important to stop making excuses that allow you to let your life pass by before your eyes without you feeling the urgent need to step in and direct those minutes toward achieving your dreams!
Goal: Journal about all of the self-defeating thoughts that you have during the day and come up with affirmations to counter those thoughts. If you find yourself thinking something like, “I’m not smart enough to figure that out and succeed at my dream job,” counter that thought with an affirmation such as “I am smart and capable, and I can achieve anything I set my mind to.” Do the same when you find yourself making excuses to take the easy way out. The easy road is not necessarily the right road to travel. If you want to master your destiny, make sure that you are taking care of your biggest obstacles, even if that includes yourself!
My Happy Ohm 